So, this week's weekly intention is to be truly present with the conversations we have. Completely present and focused on the person we are talking with.
How many times have you been engaged in a conversation with someone only to find yourself looking at this person thinking, I have no idea what they have just said. You find yourself nodding and saying generic terms like, Ah Huh, Really? Be Honest, we've all done it. We've all been there. I know I have. We've all been on the receiving end of a conversation like this as well. How does that make you feel when you know the person isn't really listening?
Or how many times have you been in a conversation with a friend already thinking about the response you might give them rather than simply just listening to everything they have to say. I'll put my hand up for this one as well. Again, we've all been on the receiving end of conversation like this. One of the fundamental core feelings of security within ourselves and in relationships is simply to be heard. To have those around us really listen to what we have to say. Not so much to have someone give us their advice or opinion.
It really is a skill to become a good listener. This week let's make a conscious effort to really listen. To create space for those around us to speak and open up. And to really value those people in our life.
Some techniques to help us do this are:
- Being fully present in the conversation.
- Showing interest by practicing good eye contact.
- Noticing (and using) non-verbal cues.
- Asking open-ended questions to encourage further responses.
- Paraphrasing and reflecting back what has been said.
- Listening to understand rather than to respond.
- Withholding judgment and advice.
- Another trick is to press your tongue to the roof of your mouth. You're more likely to refrain from saying anything while you do this which in turn gives the other person a chance to speak.
In practicing this week's weekly intention, always remember to practice with, Ahimsa (the first Yama of the 5 Yamas, the first limb of Patanjali's 8 Limbs of Yoga) Ahimsa means to do no harm. First and foremost, to ourselves and then to those around us.
Secondly, practice with Svadhyaya (the fourth Niyama of the second limb of Patanjali's 8 limbs of Yoga) Svadhyaya means self-study. Practicing self-reflection of our own behaviors which in turn makes us more aware of ourself. Perhaps behaviors and traits that are good for us, or perhaps what is doing us harm or where perhaps we can improve. We all need to check ourselves occasionally, but remember to practice this one with Ahimsa, 😉